


A Distraction

by ChickPea92



Series: Cullen Rutherford & Evelyn Trevelyan [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Romance, Skyhold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3802081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickPea92/pseuds/ChickPea92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alistair has an honest chat with Cullen on the battlements in Skyhold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Distraction

He stood on the battlements and just stared out at the enormity that was Skyhold. Why couldn’t they have had something like this during the Blight? A hot meal whenever you wanted, a soft bed to lay your head down on after a strenuous day of travelling; they even had a tavern to drink away the day’s worries in. But then again, back then there’d only been a handful of them and a camp was the only thing they needed. He couldn’t imagine what it was like for the Inquisitor having to manage all of this. She never seemed to stand still; constantly running around the keep like her life depended on it. Well, it probably did.

Alistair sympathised for the woman. He remembered how stressed Mhyrial got when she had to deal with everyone’s problems. _Is the whole of Thedas incapable of doing anything for themselves?_ She used to ask. He chuckled at the memory. She pretended to be annoyed but he knew deep down that she loved to help everyone. It was just in her nature and it was one of the many reasons why he fell so madly in love with her. _Maker_ , he missed her.

Alistair was so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed the quiet thud of boots on the ground behind him.

“It’s quite something isn’t it” Cullen’s words made Alistair jump out of his skin. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine, Commander, I was lost in my own little world for a moment there. But yes, it’s rather incredible.”

“Commander? Alistair, there’s no need to be so formal. We know each other, plus we’re not even in front of the recruits.”

“Of course, Cullen.” Yes, they knew each other. Alistair forced his mind not to travel back to their first encounter at Kinloch Hold. He looked at the Commander and couldn’t believe how much he’d changed. He looked so much older, but then they all did, and he was sure he’d done something to his hair. But most of all he looked exhausted. Hawke had told him the details of what had happened in Kirkwall and, after the ordeal in Ferelden, was convinced that Cullen might just be the most unlucky person in all of Thedas.

Cullen was staring down at the lower grounds of the keep and there was a softness in his eyes he recognised all too well. Alistair followed his gaze with his own and it landed upon the one and only Inquisitor. He smiled to himself and couldn’t resist asking.

“Enjoying the view?” Alistair asked with an amused tone and a smirk. He was rewarded with a blush that appeared instantly on the Commander’s face.

“Uh, yes. It’s very beautiful – Skyhold, that is.” It appeared that, despite being the Commander of the Inquisition’s army, Cullen still managed to get flustered over certain topics.

“Come now, Cullen, we both know we’re not talking about Skyhold.” His eyes still full of amusement and Cullen’s blush getting seemingly worse. “Does she know?”

“Yes, I think. Or does she… I’m not entirely sure. There have been a few moments to suggest she does and that she feels the same, but…” Cullen’s sentence drifted off there and look of concern washed over him.

Alistair felt for the man, he really did. It took him far too long to admit his feelings to Mhyrial and he berates himself every time he thinks of the wasted days they spent dancing around each other. Even after they’d confessed their feelings to one another he still took each day in her company for granted. If he’d known back then that he would be forced to spend years apart from her he would have held on to her and never let go. He had to keep telling himself that she was doing this for them, for their future, and if she didn’t there wouldn’t even be a future for them to have.

He can’t let Cullen have these same feelings of doubt and regret. He deserves this, especially after everything he’s been through.

“You should tell her. Neither one of you knows where or when this thing is going to end. Even if it turns out that she doesn’t feel the same way as you, well then at least you know.” Cullen thinks over Alistair’s words for a moment.

“But.. what if.. I’ll just be a distraction to her. She doesn’t need this. Not now. She has far too much to contend with already without my interfering.”

“But what if this is exactly what she needs? I worried about the same thing with Mhyrial and I told her this. Do you know what she said?” He smiled at the memory, “She said I was absolutely right. Something I never thought I’d hear from anyone’s mouth, let alone hers. But she told me I would be the best kind of distraction.”

Cullen seemed confused at his words so he continued, “People like her, and your Inquisitor, they go out every day to face the reality of war and the very real possibility of death. When Mhyrial came back to camp she wanted to forget all of those things and to actually get a good nights sleep for once.” Cullen’s expression changed as he started to understand.

“You need to be here for the Inquisitor when she comes back from those days of war and death. To remind her that that’s not what life is, that it’s still possible to smile and love in these kinds of times.”

Cullen looked down at the Inquisitor. She looked just as exhausted as he did, perhaps even more so. He suddenly felt like he’d been almost selfish in assuming she didn’t need him.

“Thank you, Alistair, I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

“Any time, Cullen. Now, what are you waiting for, get down there and talk to her.”

And with that Cullen smiled and abruptly turned on his heel, practically sprinting down the steps to see her. Alistair turned away, he was happy for them, but he always felt a pang of jealousy seeing two people together like that. He took out the crumpled piece of paper in his pocket and re-read it for what was probably the hundredth time. He was so grateful that Leliana had managed to get in contact with her. It was such a blessing to know she was safe and well. He read the last line and willed the tears not to flow.

_Thinking of you always, Alistair. My love. My best friend. My distraction._


End file.
